27
Jan
09

space-saving post!

Listen, son, I’m sure you don’t want to talk about this, but I couldn’t help noticing something you and Katy have been getting involved in lately that has me a little concerned.
You see, when a man makes a mix CD for a woman, he’s making a sacred
commitment that shouldn’t be entered into lightly. The attitudes you develop toward these things will impact the rest of your life. And giving a girl that awful new Offspring single that sounds like a power ballad may seem like  a great idea, until you project that years down the road. You see, whether you understand it now or not, a mix CD means something. If I had given Theresa Garnible that tape I made in high school that led off with “More than Words”, then took her on an epic sonic journey that climaxed with “Every Rose Has its Thorn”, you and I might not be sitting here today. 
Gosh, I can’t believe we’re already having this talk. Seems like yesterday you were learning to walk, and soon you’ll be carrying your bride over the treshhold on your wedding night, where together you’ll begin to dance the line between pleasure and pain as you continuously lick her armpit until long after it’s enjoyable for either of you because the underside of your tongue is starting to bleed from the repeated motion of rubbing against your bottom teeth on the downstroke, and she’s getting bored. Don’t let your mother know I told you about that one!
What? 
Well, if kids don’t listen to CDs anymore, what exactly was that in the jewel case, young man? Oh, a DVD copy you made of you guys smoking methamphetamine and having unprotected sex in the Youth Zone at church while the rest of the family was worshipping!  So that’s where you went that Sunday! Sorry, big misunderstanding. Well, keep those grades up!
Advertisements

0 Responses to “space-saving post!”



  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: