man is the most dangerous prey. the least dangerous? lettuce.

As Americans continue to flock to the suburbs for no good reason, what is their biggest complaint? The answer may surprise you. It’s not the inefficiency of their long commutes, the soul-crushing pressure to maintain appearances, or even garden slugs, but rather the frustration that comes from a simple desire to occasionally break free and party balls.

And that’s where we at Viceco can help, with our all-new PT124. What is the PT124, you ask? No, it’s not a ray you can point at your enemies that gives them incurable skin diseases. That won’t be ready until 2011.  

You see, somewhere in your neighborhood, there’s a dad that’s growing mind-blowing hydroponic weed in his basement, or a swinging couple that looks like a naked, oiled-up version of Will and Jada. Thanks to our patented technology, these clandestine Eyes Wide Shut-esque suburban paradises emit a signal visible only to those wearing the PT124 glasses, helping you find a place to turn your impure thoughts into impure deeds without attracting any undue attention from that guy down the street who’s in charge of admissions for that expensive private school you want to get your kid into.    

And since it’s from Viceco, you know it’s a product you can trust. We’ve been the pioneer in this field since 1986, coming from humble beginnings as the first company to throw sneakers over telephone wires in front of houses in South Central, signalling to folks where they could buy some rock.

So do yourself a favor and try the PT124 today! It’s the best product of its kind on the market, but don’t take my word for it; I’m a paid celebrity endorser with basically unlimited access to sex and drugs, so I have no real need for it.


2 Responses to “man is the most dangerous prey. the least dangerous? lettuce.”

  1. 1 Sarita
    July 6, 2009 at 10:26 am

    This? Is golden.

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