26
Aug
09

mama’s got a case of the headaches

Hey moron! Tired of folks walking all over you your whole life? Treating you like you’re some kind of idiot? Then you need an education- ever since the pilgrims and Indians came together to form Voltron, that’s the way it’s been in this great land of ours. Come register for the adult education program here at Mount Rose College and get your pathetic life together, for crying out loud. I mean, just look at you, you fat slob. You can’t get promoted at work because you aren’t qualified to do anything other than lift boxes. Your kids don’t have any respect for you because you can barely spell your own name, much less help them with their calculus homework. Your wife won’t go down on you anymore because she- well actually, it’s because your semen tastes terrible. Try laying off the hot pastrami and drink a glass of pineapple juice once in a while. See, if you had taken our course in Human Sexuality, you’d know that. It’s taught by that creepy old guy at the end of the bar, and he knows his way around a woman- just ask your wife; he “consoled” her a couple years back during your trial separation. So come on down and begin that first step to a better life, shit-for-brains! We’re located in the old closed-down Mount Rose movie theater, just look for the back entrance with the taped lock.

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