i don’t take criticism well, especially when it’s valid

Man, I can’t wait to get off work. I’ve been working so hard lately that I haven’t really had a chance to cut loose and have a great time. Just kick back, and have a few laughs. A few laughs and a beer or two. Maybe have a few beers. Ooh, you know what I haven’t done in a while? Get really drunk. Like, get so drunk that you throw up. Yeah. Or drunk dial your friends. Get super drunk, where you pull out your credit card and order everything you see advertised on TV between the hours of 1 am and 4 am, spending so much money that you and your family can’t afford to eat anything but peanut butter sandwiches for a few months. No, wait; get crazy drunk and have sex with a prostitute, but sex with just one prostitute wasn’t enough to fill the void inside you so you look for another prostitute afterwards and later have to call your wife from jail and explain why you solicited a cop. Not even an undercover cop, you just walked right up to a police officer in full uniform and asked how many dollars it would take to get him or her to have sexual relations with you. Like, so drunk that you wake up the next morning with nothing in your head but these real vague, like, superviolent images, like you’re flashing back to some horrible event where people are just screaming their heads off and there’s blood everywhere and  you feel somehow responsible but you keep telling yourself that you’re the only survivor because it was kill or be killed and, reluctantly, you chose kill.

Okay, I admit I’ve never been that drunk. But it’s on my bucket list.


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January 2010
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