i’ve seen a million faces, but i really haven’t rocked that many of them

Hey man, you got a minute? Look, don’t be a dick; I just want to give you my band’s demo CD. We’re called Necrofury, but we’re considering changing the name since we’ve been moving in a more melodic direction lately. Now, before you throw it away, you should realize that this is about more than music. See, this jerkwater town needs a better scene. Think about how we all spend our weekends: pretending to have car trouble out on a desolate stretch of road, then kidnapping the first person that stops to help and mocking their tears as we make them dig their own grave at gunpoint. With a vibrant music scene, we can develop a sense of community and an identity outside of being featured semiannually on Dateline thanks to our nickname of “the Bermuda Triangle of Highway 48”. So just take a listen and share it with anyone else you know. For example, if your dad is a big record executive, during dinner maybe you could spread the good word about Necrofury over the intercom that you usually use to ask to pass the salt across your football field-length dining room table. If you like what you hear, sync it to your iTunes, then blog it to your friendster account and livejournal it to your pager. What are you afraid of, you pussy? Just listen to it. It’s not like our music is gonna make your urine smell like Lucky Charms or anything. Or don’t; see what I care. Just do whatever with it, even if that means throwing it frisbee-style like Oddjob and sawing off a statue’s head (which would be pretty awesome, I admit).


1 Response to “i’ve seen a million faces, but i really haven’t rocked that many of them”

  1. 1 Tim
    February 4, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    This was great. More stories about metal band/murderers Necrofury, please!

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