14
Jul
10

my knowledge of what you did is not limited to the events of last summer

Hello, Mom? It’s me, Andrea. Oh, I’m okay; just a little down is all. Well, the other night I ended things with David. Listen, it’s not something I feel like going into a lot of detail about. Things had gotten a little intense, and I had to get out… If you must know, I’ve just had this weird feeling about him lately, dating back to us reminiscing about how we met. Like, how can we be sure that he didn’t run that red light and hit me with his car on purpose?…  Yeah, I know you and Dad liked him, but if anything, he was too charming and handsome not to be a Ted Bundy-style gentleman serial killer. Combine the words “handsome” and”charming”, and you get “harming”, so think on that… I know, I know, but I’m sure the word “chandsome” probably means something ominous too…. Point taken, but you can’t reconcile the fact that he worked at a florist with that unsettling look of determination he’d get on his face when he felt like children or puppies and kittens were trying to compete with him… Yeah, so I’m doing okay, not going out much, mostly just re-watching my DVDs of police procedurals. I left the house the other day to pick up some ice cream, and I wore a pair of blue tinted sunglasses, so I could pretend like I was still watching Cold Case… Uh, hold on, Mom; someone’s at the door. Oh God, it’s David, and he’s got a knife! He’s trying to get in! No, wait- before I call 911, there’s something of vital importance that I need to tell you. Can you still hear me? Because what I’m going to say next is going to change life on earth as we all know it. Okay, the reason why I was so afraid of David is becau[PLEASE DEPOSIT $.35 INTO YOUR FLOPPY DRIVE TO FINISH READING STORY]

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1 Response to “my knowledge of what you did is not limited to the events of last summer”


  1. 1 sweet rachel
    July 14, 2010 at 10:41 pm

    i think you should have a contest for who can come up with the best “you know why.”


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