04
May
11

all she left me to remember her by was a cloud of dust in her approximate shape

Oddly specific things that your surname says about you:

Wangstrom: Mighty warrior. You share qualities with many of history’s greatest leaders, the most valuable of which being total insulation from accountability. (Gaelic)

Von Frohlminghamn: Wise one. Your prescience will likely be displayed again in your latest bold endeavor, buying 5000 shares of seventies bush because it’s poised for a monster comeback. (Latvian)

Porrbee: Pure of heart. Your trustworthy reputation means that those you come into contact with never question your motives, and you graciously extend them the same courtesy. Which is why your neighbor knew he could count on you when he needed to use your yard to store a huge pile of lumber he’s hiding a piece of wood from the true cross in. (Fond du Lacese)

Klai’iven: Craggy cliff face over a river of molten lava. You would rather commit suicide on the battlefield than dishonor your ancestors by being captured by your enemy. (Klingon)

Tamponian: Beautiful child. Your good looks allow you to easily attract lovers who will tolerate your many weird sexual idiosyncrasies. PS- Nobody thinks you’re accidentally leaving your socks on every time. (Maori)

Dlahlvik: Man of strength. Man, the only thing strong about you is the smell! ZING! (Peloponnesian)

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