moist likely to succeed

“Cabrera, I thought I told you I didn’t want to see you in my office until the media firestorm passed from your having used excessive force on that flamingo that escaped from the zoo. This had better be good.”
“Sorry about this, Chief; I wouldn’t have come to you if it weren’t serious. While I hate to risk getting a reputation for being difficult on my partners, this time we’ve got a real problem.”
“Excuse me for a second- Dorothy, hold all my calls. Okay, you’ve got my attention. The last time you came to me with an issue with your partner, you blew the lid off the most explosive corruption scandal in this city’s history. Turns out Murphy was not only facilitating communication between the south bay’s three biggest crime families, but also serving as a courier for weapons, money and drugs. For years, that fucking backstabber even tipped Gallindo to stings and raids. So what’s up?”
“Are you sure we’re okay in here, Chief?”
“Listen, Cabrera. This was a safe place when you confided in me about your ringworm, and it’s a safe place now.”
“Okay, sorry. I just…I’m not sure I can do this.”
“Well, you’ve already given me suspicion enough to launch a full-scale investigation. Might as well make this easier by telling me what you know.”
“All right, fuck it: Padilla’s been eating CornNuts in the cruiser.”
“Jesus God. It’s worse than I thought.”
“Yeah. I’ve stayed quiet as long as I can.”
“Chin up, kid; you did the right thing. Your bravery in stepping forward on this is commendable. I’ll have you fitted with a respirator till we can determine the right time to make a move on this asshole.”
“No can do, Chief. I tried a respirator a few weeks ago when this first started-”
“Wait, what? You’ve been sitting on this that long?”
“At first I thought he was just blowing off a little steam, so I let him go with it for a little while. He was pretty shaken up after we broke up that counterfeit DVD ring. You know about Padilla’s strong feelings regarding copyright infringement. Figured if I could keep an eye on him he wouldn’t go off the deep end, but I couldn’t rein him in. Anyways, I forgot to take the respirator off when we pulled over an old lady. Really scared the shit out of her. She was convinced that her tax dollars were going to pay for an army of menacing police robots. Fortunately, we were able to convince her family that she was experiencing early-onset dementia when they came to pick her up from county lock-up.”
“Good work. With this kind of time crunch, I think our best option is to immediately transfer you both to security detail at the old outlet mall.”
“Chief, that’s the heart of the Leather Hat District. Are you sure?”
“Twenty-two years I’ve been in this line of work, Cabrera. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that sometimes it’s best to let these animals weed themselves out. At least this way, he gets a hero’s funeral and his family doesn’t have to learn what he was into.”


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March 2012
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