02
May
12

we was built for this shit

Good afternoon, neighbor! Heard you working over here in the garage, so I thought I’d return the drill you loaned me over the weekend. Golly, Ed, is that thing powerful! Made some nice holes in the boards I’m cutting- if everything else goes as smoothly, this batch of tie racks will be my best yet! You know, if I had set that drill up on the tripod that came with it, I’ll bet I could have darn near cut through the wall of a safe. Hey, if you don’t mind me asking, what are you working on over there? You’re gonna hurt yourself cutting that big thing on that little table saw, pal. Why don’t you bring it across the street to my garage, and you can borrow my big table saw. It’s got a safety guard, a miter gauge, and a brand-new, super shiny blade. Plus, I’ll bet I could scare up some clamps so we get a clean, accurate cut on that, hmm, looks like a piece of 3/8″ Sheetrock, correct? Gosh, you don’t see that every day, seeing as how our local building code doesn’t call for a drywall thickness greater than 1/4″ in residential dwellings, huh, chieftain? Wow, this is a first-class setup you’ve got in here, buddy. I’ve been trying for years to get Sandra to let me buy a Kegerator, and this display case for all your expensive Russian-made handguns is just super. Got am all polished and glinting in the light, plus it looks like you just need one more to complete your collection! Oh hey, Ed? Say, I couldn’t help noticing that you’ve got a pretty grisly murder scene back there, partner. Tell you what, Edski, I’ll come back in five minutes with a couple bags of lime to help you get this cleaned up, then we can kick back with a couple Old Milwaukees and watch the ballgame, whaddya say?

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