ladies love a man in uniform so i been wearing the same clothes for a week

“You have a keen eye for beauty,” the merchant said, framing his hands artfully around the medallion I had been inspecting. A sudden gust of wind blew across the marketplace, and he raised his billowy sleeve to shield his good eye from the accompanying blast of sand before continuing his sales pitch. “Many have asked me its price, but I have been waiting for a buyer who could properly appreciate its rare delights.” In all my years of collecting, I had never seen anything like it. The exquisitely crafted ceremonial eagle at the piece’s center stared into my soul. It wasn’t until I had got it home stateside that I began to notice the changes. Several financial ventures I had a stake in suddenly became staggeringly profitable upon my return, a development which coincided with an abrupt change in behavior among my menagerie of exotic birds. They became quite agitated in my presence, only calming down when the staff moved their cages to another wing of the house. Most noticeably, I found I had been blessed and cursed with the ability to see people’s ultimate potential- what they could have done in their lives unhindered by bad fortune, illness, poverty, poor decisions, or other limitations. Haunted by every encounter with pizza delivery guys that could have been Supreme Court justices or would-be astronaut pedicurists, I soon cloistered myself in my chambers, unable to engage with more than a few attendants.


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